Japan to the rescue! This company
still sells personal word processors. Older models with their folding keyboards and monochrome displays look comfier than this new DS-esque abomination.
Since I've first seen these devices, I've came up with idea of eReader in Kindle Oasis form-factor with weighted handle, physical buttons and adaptive backlight, but also with a detachable thinkpad-like nipple keyboard base for word processing, charging and maybe extra batteries too. Network would be too much bloat, distraction and security concern for the device, but if it had one, it'd become a nice textual terminal for extra LARP points.
So ugh, my wish is "insert whatever obscure foreign architecture low-power SOC", preferably Loongson 2K or Baikal T1 powered fanless netbook Though, it can literally be any SOC in that TDP range, from Intel Core Y to ARM
with soldered down Cold Boot BTFO
maxed out Hope the manufacturers are not jews
ECC memory, dual gigabits (extra 10Gbit in case of Baikal), DB9 RS-232, exposed GPIO Pi style, RS-485, VGA, mDP, magnetic charging port doubled as Type C, >>12009
KVM capability would be nice if you happen to be stuck with a desktop but no keyboard or screen, CFast slot, SD slot styled as floppy drive with an eject button, eSata, Toslink, all ports are on the back thick part except for audio jacks, like on Dell Adamo so when a lid is open, you can actually grab a notebook with one hand, M.2 mSata, detachable BT + 802.11 card, LoRa, NFC/RFID, a dedicated FPGA/Cryptographic processor slot, physical switches for everything, lots of indicators + battery percentage indicator similar to those in old japanese flip-phones or maybe 2007 MacBook batteries, Thinkcentre-style webcam lid with actual switch inside, 3:2 clam-shell 13" display, 7-row 90's powerbook nipple keyboard, battery on/off switch, big power button with soft actuation feel on the side that goes 4 millimeters deep when pressed, all in a nice tight 1kg package 16 mm thick on the back and 10 on the front, it also spring-loaded legs for additional keyboard angle adjustment.
The body color scheme should be either of classic ThinkPad or grayish with grainy coating and quality plastic details.
Aslo, this motherboard can go inside a simple fanless box, or mechanical keyboard case when portability is not a necessity. It's form-factor should be somewhere in between embedded and hobbyist SBcs, with advantages of both worlds.