John Motherfucking Elway Spartan 07/17/2017 (Mon) 04:01:51 No. 60403 del
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ITT we pay homage to John Elway; the patron saint, projenitor, and keeper of all His footballs.
We shall begin today's homage by turning to John Elway chapter 7 verse 16.
And the good Ponies of Elway did reside soundly in their home. Having a shiny Football trophy atop their mantle, they could not imagine that anything sinister might be afoot. In the early hours, a prayer unto Elway was uttered.
As the morning advanced, ponies began to stir and go about their bantz, all the while the quad-get of Football loomed.
A mighty Bronco appeared and attempted to seize that get of the quad Football, in honor and glory of John Elway. It was to have been a living testament to His glory, that one of His should grasp these temporal Footballs, whilst He in Denver should have and keep All the Footballs, forevermore Football.
This magnificent play by this mighty Bronco was in vain, for a new opponent had appeared.
Suddenly and as if from a Barry Sanders evade, a dastardly figure from /sp/ appeared. He cackled maniacally at the assembled Ponies and held aloft the coveted quad-Football get.
He was immediately smote by a stroke of lightning from the Heavens.
His post and presence reduced to a pile of smoky ash, his stolen gets now laid at the feet of the mighty Bronco who tenitively grasped those gets, checking his priviledge.
From on high, John Elway did smile. For he had forseen all that had ever and would ever transpire to do with Footballs, for they are all His Footballs.
Even when they are scattered in space, being fought over by the Two Mannings, or other forms of Football entirely, John Elway knows and loves all His Footballs, and cannot abide them being blitzed out from under his Broncos. In His wisdom He saw that those interlopers from /sp/ had broken the first rule of His Footballs; there was no coin toss.
Without this, the offense was operating off-sides against an opponent that wasn't even on the field. This lesson would long impress His Broncos.
The vagabonds did cry out and salt did rain down, their ill-gotten gets stripped of them.
They had not grasped where upon they had blitzed.
John Elway laughed in Football, a booming and terrible burst of divine force that resounded and reverberated on, through, and out the other sides of the invader's buttholes. The devastation was immediate and irreversible.
Their presence had indeed been felt, and the good Ponies and mighty Broncos were that much wiser for the experience.
But here was where gods did reign, and one of those gods had All the Footballs.

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