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Real /news/ Bernd 12/06/2017 (Wed) 08:30:03 [Preview] No. 12378
https://www.theonion.com/glitch-in-country-allows-citizens-to-temporarily-walk-t-1820916560
WASHINGTON— Saying that they were unable to explain the mysterious error, officials confirmed Friday that a glitch in the country was allowing U.S. citizens to temporarily walk through tables. “As many of you may have already noticed, due to a malfunction in the nation earlier today, citizens were momentarily able move through tables,” said National Institute of Standards and Technology associate director Kent Rochford, assuring Americans that a team was working around the clock to locate and address the bug that enabled people to stride into and out of solid objects. “We apologize to anyone inconvenienced by falling through a counter or wall they were leaning against. Just know that we are doing everything in our power to patch whatever caused people to plummet through the floor into offices or apartments below.” At press time, Rochford expressed hope that any further issues could be resolved by doing a hard restart on the country-.

-BO so far only allows fake news at /news/, rest gets deleted. He thinks its all fake. Help us post real news like this at /news/


Bernd 12/06/2017 (Wed) 11:34:49 [Preview] No.12379 del
http://dailyscimitar.com/worse-than-the-holocaust-reactions-to-the-lifting-of-sanctions-on-iran/

>January 18, 2016

>TEHRAN – The world is abuzz with the lifting of sanctions on Iran after the latest nuclear deal it had struck with the west. Many states and leaders have offered congratulations and expressed optimism about a sanction-free Iran, however some have also expressed caution, while others see this as the worse development in modern history.

>The United States have expressed content about the current deal. President Barack Obama said: “Yeah I guess it’s ok, I mean we can always bring back sanctions if we feel like it,” and added that “making friends” with the Islamic Republic shows the United States’ consistency in its Middle East policy.

>“It’s another strong boost to our ‘WTHAWD?’ (What The Hell Are We Doing?) Middle East policy. After being hostile to Iran for over 30 years, backing Saddam against Iran, backing the proto-Taliban in Afghanistan against the Soviets, then bombing Saddam, then bombing the Taliban that we supported, then bombing Saddam again and deposing him, then supporting Israel in its threats to Iran, then backing Jundallah terrorists in east Iran, then fighting ISI(without the L) in Iraq between 2006 and 2010, then pulling out of Iraq, then backing Libyan rebels who then killed our ambassador, then denouncing Assad and backing the Syrian rebels, then not backing islamist Syrian rebels but backing Gulf monarchies that back islamist Syrian rebels instead, then wanting to bomb Assad, then not wanting to bomb him, then supporting moderate rebels, then those rebels themselves supporting or being overrun by Al-Qaeda, then supporting moderate rebels controlled by Al-Qaeda again anyway, then bombing Al-Qaeda in Syria (Al-Nusra), then returning to Iraq to bomb ISIL, then bombing ISIL in Syria, while completely ignoring ISIL expansion in Libya, then not bombing them in Iraq because we don’t want to directly help pro-Iranian Shia militias, then making a wide anti-ISIL alliance in which almost no one but us bombed ISIL, then supporting the Kurds and later the SDF in Syria, while still clinging to Turkey which supports Al-Qaeda and ISIL and attacks the SDF that we support, and ignoring ISIL where it threatens Assad (Palmyra), while also sometimes bombing ISIL where it threatens Assad (Deir ez-Zor), while at the same time supporting Israel which periodically bombs Assad, and in the end trying to make friends with Israel’s enemy Iran, which supports Assad, who is supported by Hezbollah, which is controlled by Iran and is hostile to Israel, while of course still calling Israel a key ally, we can indeed say that the ‘WTHAWD?’ policy has been a phenomenal success,” – President Obama said.

>Israeli President Benjamin Netanyahu said that he had been crying non-stop for days, called the entire world antisemitist and said that lifting the sanctions on Iran is “worse than the Holocaust”.

>“All of the people in the west and east involved in this travesty of history are no different than Josef Mengele,” – Netanyahu said through tears. “Lifting sanctions against Iran is like operating on living Jewish babies, there is no difference! Soon these western countries that have betrayed us will even start complaining when we counterfeit their passports to covertly kill Iranian scientists and allies in Iran and other countries. Now thanks to these people Iran can make a nuclear bomb unopposed and this will spark a nuclear arms race in the Middle East!”

>When Netanyahu was asked how is it that Israel’s own few hundred undeclared nuclear warheads have not sparked a nuclear arms race, he responded: “We have always said that we may or may not have nuclear weapons. Well, the lack of a previous nuclear arms race is obviously proof that we don’t have them! But we reserve the right to retaliate with nuclear weapons if we are attacked. This is of course not admitting that we do have them, because we may or may not have them, but we will definitely use them if we think that we need to!”



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