/b/ - Random

Anything posted here are autistic works of fiction, only a fool would take them seriously.

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Anonymous 05/10/2017 (Wed) 16:48:02 [Preview] No. 12057 [Reply]
I shat in a sock and froze it and then I shat into a second sock and took both poopsocks with one in each hand and swung the warm poopsock into a busker's face then immediately followed with the frozen one so that the last thing he remembered before losing conciousness was getting hot karled. I name this technique "Summer and Winter Strike". I then proceeded to place my weapons over each of his hands and secured them with cable ties like some scatological bondage mittens. When he awoke he was shocked! A crowd had gathered around us too. But I merely gave the busker a knowing look, and at once he understood. His destiny was not to sing for pocket change. He was to be the next boxing world champion. I took his bound and shit-covered hand in my own and from that day on, his training began.

Anonymous 05/12/2017 (Fri) 12:19:10 [Preview] No. 12077 del
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>i'll fuck you till you love me

Anonymous 05/08/2017 (Mon) 14:19:57 [Preview] No. 12048 [Reply]
I'm 19 and still virgin.
Need help with the girls. I don't know what to say to them and that shit.

Post flirting tips and overall seduction tips I suppose
1 post and 1 image omitted.

Anonymous 05/08/2017 (Mon) 17:08:06 [Preview] No. 12050 del
would happily do that. But how does one reach that scenario?

Anonymous 05/09/2017 (Tue) 04:03:55 [Preview] No. 12052 del
Depends, if you're in college or have some shit part time job, alcohol plus certain recreational drugs are probably you're best friend. Overall seduction tips I don't necessarily have any other than you have to be or appear to be very socially aware and dynamic as to what situations you may or may not be. Since you're asking here I'm guessing this is not true but it's something you probably just need work at.

Chicks are just as horny as dudes if not more so but when confronted with a perplexing situation their first response is to act irrationally in a manner that they see as commensurate.

If you're not looking for super attractive ones just go to church and find the slutty tsundere ugly one.

Anonymous 05/09/2017 (Tue) 21:06:39 [Preview] No. 12055 del
>I don't know what to say to them and that shit.

Do something you can talk about later. Go on an adventure, good conversation requires experience.

Anonymous 05/11/2017 (Thu) 21:18:26 [Preview] No. 12073 del
Stop jerking off so much.
Also trust me I'd rather be a virgin rn I fucked up now I got hpv, luckily it's going away and should be gone in another year but trust having premarital sex complicates things way more than you like, after you have sex with some one for the 3-4 time biology really kicks in, better to do that with someone you truly love

Anonymous 05/12/2017 (Fri) 02:09:56 [Preview] No. 12074 del
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What do you mean about biology kicking in? And wear a condom and don't horrifyingly swallow cum because gays have AIDS, or do oral on sluts. You won't feel it right away, but both suck away your chi.

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#DertiSanchez Anonymous 04/18/2017 (Tue) 13:31:22 [Preview] No. 11914 [Reply]
Okay, so. Apparently the season 3 of Rick and Morty preview referenced this McD's Disney Mulan sweet sauce, leading to a bunch of people asking for it to return, which in turn butt hart a bunch of SJW's calling it racist because just like hollandaise isn't Dutch and there's no pineapple in italian oven bread, szechuan is nothing like Chinese Sichuan.


This is all quite retarded. Only one thing left for McDonalds to do: re-release szechuan under marketing term like #TriedSzechuan, and troll everybody by making it taste like shit instead of good. Make it canon that Rick did it, I don't know.
11 posts and 2 images omitted.

Anonymous 05/10/2017 (Wed) 07:10:30 [Preview] No. 12056 del
The Simpsons still has its moments too.

Anonymous 05/10/2017 (Wed) 19:35:37 [Preview] No. 12058 del
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I may be a small-minded redneck, but this asian squid ink bread smelled too horrible to try

Anonymous 05/10/2017 (Wed) 23:24:11 [Preview] No. 12060 del
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Depth has nothing to do with how smart or retarded you are, and you'd know this if you weren't so retarded.

Anonymous 05/11/2017 (Thu) 00:08:35 [Preview] No. 12061 del
>Depth has nothing to do with how smart or retarded you are

Except that's bullshit, if a work of art is too deep or pretentious for its own good, idiots will sincerely filter it along with whatever messages it has. That's just how it works. Why do you think youtube channels spoonfeeding lore from video games, anime and so forth have begun to explode in popularity? Your AVERAGE retard is just not smart enough, nor patient enough to understand subtext, or background fluff. In general things that are not told and presented in a condensed linear format.

Hell even when things are linear normalfaggots still have a hard time catching up. It's why Lord of The Rings and Heart of Darkness are regarded as some sort of "high level" reading by them.

Anonymous 05/11/2017 (Thu) 03:12:13 [Preview] No. 12070 del
Only a buck? I would've got one tbh.

Armageddon Alternate Ending Anonymous 05/10/2017 (Wed) 21:34:53 [Preview] No. 12059 [Reply]
Alternate Ending to the movie Armageddon (funny meme video teeheee lol :-})

https://youtube.com/watch?v=Ea6IUGIOZFY [Embed]

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Krosmaga porn thread Anonymous 05/06/2017 (Sat) 22:34:56 [Preview] No. 12042 [Reply]
>play Krosmaga
>interest grows
>go to rule34 paheal
>search game title
>mfw only 2 copies of Cra jerking dick

Guys, this is sad.
Not even a single fucking Sacrier painal gif.
Not even a single Cra mutilating dicks.
I wish I didn't give my wacom to artistically more talented and engaged imouto-tan. T_T
Anyway, we need more porn of that. NOW. SERIOUSLY. Like, IOS r63, ANYTHING at this point. Even faggotry. ANYTHING.

Anonymous 05/06/2017 (Sat) 22:36:44 [Preview] No. 12043 del
Wait, IOS? Did I really write that???

Anonymous 05/08/2017 (Mon) 03:55:54 [Preview] No. 12046 del
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What's the r34 game like with card games typically?

hypocrisies Anonymous 04/13/2017 (Thu) 17:12:20 [Preview] No. 11821 [Reply]
>"there are no girls on the internet"
>literally everything from gamergate to youtube monetization is thin-skinned Mean Girl Syndrome drama bullshit from all sides
7 posts and 2 images omitted.

Anonymous 04/21/2017 (Fri) 14:34:51 [Preview] No. 11967 del
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Pretty sure Boxxy was a drag queen as well.

Anonymous 04/21/2017 (Fri) 23:23:55 [Preview] No. 11970 del

Anonymous 05/02/2017 (Tue) 12:07:53 [Preview] No. 12021 del
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>militarization of police force within urban areas is terrible and inhumane treatment of American citizens
>peace keeping forces working for militaries in whichever part of the world are polite and wonderful and the only thing holding together the local moral fiber

Anonymous 05/06/2017 (Sat) 04:27:55 [Preview] No. 12039 del
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Anonymous 05/07/2017 (Sun) 06:26:14 [Preview] No. 12044 del
Newhalfs are fun primarily because of the hypocrisy. It's funny to read transsexual writers and see how long until they throw a hissy fit and threaten to not produce new content, or even kill themselves.

Right now at Fictionmania (an erotic story site) this is happening again:


>The reviews I have a problem with include:
>1. personal attacks
>This has only happened once, and I asked the task force to remove it. It was very upsetting, and I felt that if the review were not removed, I might never write again.

Translation: I am a little baby and want to be treated like one. I will complain until the site deletes what makes me feel bad. I don't want to learn to write well, and I don't want to grow some balls.

Urgent warning about space rays Anonymous 05/06/2017 (Sat) 05:36:41 [Preview] No. 12040 [Reply]
Tonight at 12:30am to 3:30am make sure to turn off the phone, cellular, tablet, ect...and put away from your body. Singapore television announced the news. Please tell your family and friends. Toinght,12:30am to 3:30am for our planet will be very high radiation. Cosmic rays will pass close to earth. So please turn off your cell phone. Do not leave your device close to your body, it can cause you terrible damage. Check Google and NASA BBC news. Send this message to all the people who matter to you.

Please share this status so that you'll be saving millions of lives

Anonymous 05/06/2017 (Sat) 07:52:17 [Preview] No. 12041 del
This happens all the time. Chill out and enjoy the rays.

Brace for the 10th:

>CME IMPACT POSSIBLE ON MAY 10TH: On May the 4th, unstable magnetic fields in the sun's atmosphere shifted and hurled a CME into space. The cloud's velocity was relatively low; indeed, it appears that it will take 6 whole days to cross the sun-Earth divide. NOAA forecasters expect it to arrive on May 10th. Polar geomagnetic activity is therefore possible next week.


8chan down again Anonymous 05/04/2017 (Thu) 09:01:31 [Preview] No. 12022 [Reply]
I wonder how long it will take to restart this time?
Also, did this have anything to do with the /b/ get?

Anonymous 05/04/2017 (Thu) 15:00:27 [Preview] No. 12023 del
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The 7000000 get didn't happen yet, but /b/ was going through a shitstorm of spam (some of it cp).
why does it say april 26th, 2017.

Anonymous 05/05/2017 (Fri) 03:41:38 [Preview] No. 12024 del
So....it was nuffin?

Anonymous 04/28/2017 (Fri) 05:34:05 [Preview] No. 12000 [Reply]
Call this number and wish him a happy birthday 619-2147-492

Anonymous 04/29/2017 (Sat) 21:42:35 [Preview] No. 12014 del
It's a scam or trap.

Anonymous 04/30/2017 (Sun) 13:56:46 [Preview] No. 12017 del
i did and a clown reached thru the phone with his smelly clown penis and touched my shoulder

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Bath Nite Anonymous 04/18/2017 (Tue) 19:29:45 [Preview] No. 11919 [Reply]
can you wash your penises too hard?

Anonymous 04/18/2017 (Tue) 21:47:59 [Preview] No. 11926 del
>Permanent no fap achievement award.

Anonymous 04/28/2017 (Fri) 20:35:47 [Preview] No. 12005 del

Anonymous 04/29/2017 (Sat) 09:57:37 [Preview] No. 12010 del
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Anonymous 04/29/2017 (Sat) 20:33:30 [Preview] No. 12012 del

Anonymous 04/30/2017 (Sun) 13:56:01 [Preview] No. 12016 del
dick, dicks, dickself